Old Friends

Old friends are the best friends. There is something comforting when a bad thing happens about knowing they will understand why you act the way you do. You don't have to explain things because they already know stuff like - despite public appearances your mother is a psychotic hag and while your friend is nice to her, she backs you up on the evil factor; no matter how many times you say your family won't take advantage of your anymore, they will, and you will continue let it happen and friends just keep listenting; and no matter how much you pretend to be angry at people, they know you are just hurt and don't know what else to do; and most importantly sometimes a hug is all that can be done.

I got to spend last night with two of the bestest friends in the world. They did not bat an eye when I had to take a phone call from my family and then proceeded to smoke a pack of cigarettes and drink my body weight in wine (which by the way equates to vats). They just sat back and we picked up where we had left off in the conversation when I came back inside.

They made fun of me for accidentally being drunk and I love them for it. The older I get the more I realize that friends, lots of times, are better than family. You spend time together because you want to, not because DNA says you have to.

Nails

I love pedicures. Having someone soak, scrub and attack with a pumice stone just lets me relax. It used to bother me when the person would fist my calf muscles to loosen them up. Or so they said, mostly I think they sometimes have a competition to see who can get the most wiggle through out the day...
But I hate manicures. They never last. I have horrible finger nails that peel and then I bite them off. So Lil One and I decided to get manicures and fake nails put on last week. We went for a french manicure because I thought they would last longer and then we could always paint over it.
Good God ~ How do people stand these things? By the next night I had already cut them down to what I thought was an acceptable length. How the hell else would you be able to get your contacts out without leaving your iris intact? I'll admit that I like to tap the nails, they do come in useful if you have to pry something off too. But they get dirty and stuff gets trapped up in there and it is disgusting. I tried soaking them off with nail polish remover but they just got mushy. Finally I have gotten them off with the help of nail clippers and my teeth. There is somewhat of a nail bed left on my fingers. So I am worse off then before and $50 in the hole.Sometimes life feels so pointless.
Except, well, my feet still look god damn sexy.

Receptionist

I work in an office where the receptionist doesn't understand why she is supposed to be answering the phone. Sadly, this statement sums up how this office operates. She has now dubbed herself office administrator, even ordered herself cards. This would make me laugh if I wasn't trying so hard to stiffle the sobs while trapped in this cubicle hell.

She is so awesomely terrifying at her administration job if you ask her questions about the profit-sharing or you know ANY work-related issue, she stares at you in stunned silence. Admittedly I sometimes do ask questions repeatedly because I have learned to appreciate the brief moments of silence. It is a break from her walking down the hall announcing loudly that she "hates this fucking job" and "can't wait to get the fuck out of here" and my personal fave "this place is so fucking unprofessional". Yep, true story she behaves this way and there is no realization of the irony of the last statement being proclaimed loud enough for clients to hear her through closed doors. How does this happen? People like her blow my mind. But what really gets me is the people who employ her. For once, in a law office this stuff cannot even be blamed on someone banging the receptionist. There are hundreds of people who are being laid off from jobs and we have this brain trust. I just don't get it.